Another reason to love Aardvark

If you don’t already use Aardvark, the worlds best question answering system, you should. Someone on the website will take the time to answer whatever fool question pops into your mind in the middle of the night when you just had a rather strange dream and know the question will bother you until you do something about it. Of course, that’s not a quality unique to Aardvark; when I used to use Yahoo! Answers I had success getting answers to questions about Spider Pigs, or how to contact my local superhero, but Aardvark is much quicker most of the time. The example that prompted this particular post is an answer from someone clarifying…the dietary habbits of centaurs for me, of all things. It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only person in the world who spends time thinking about this sort of stuff:

Centaurs do require more calories in their diet, however due to having a mostly-human digestive tract (The lower intestines are more horse than human in nature), the centaur is an omnivore.  Additionally, due to the fact that they are sentient, they are able to cook meals, also contributing to a full diet.  I’m not sure where to find centaur information.  Don’t you have a local learnatorium?

Strange political quotes…

“If somebody’s gonna stab me in the back, I want to be there.”

“When you’re talking to me, keep your mouth shut.”

“I hate to confuse myself with the facts.”

“My knowledge is no match for his ignorance.”

“The average age of a 7-year old in this state is 13″.

“Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository.”

“I deny the allegations, and I defy the alligators.”

Poetry: Cheap Flights Bid On Airline Tickets

Recently, a robot in the blog comments has been attempting to share his Epic-length poem, called Cheap Flights Bid On Airline Tickets, with me. In order to do my part to promote culture and the arts, I thought I’d share some of the best lines from this feature-length work with everyone. These are just excerpts; feel free to click the link to see the entire thing, in all of its splender.

cheap flights bid on airline tickets: When staged on a destination quantity, the center is notorious for the major control on that production.

cheap flights bid on airline tickets: on situation at patrol 06, the zed ‘perpetual race police division.

Despite this, the interplanetary expansion of the route frequently offers this outcome.
Tokyo via darwin and manila with avro russian center.
Cheap flights bid on airline tickets.

cheap flights bid on airline tickets: we expanded out of the theft, went up our individual and sponsored out of the director in independently 5-10 games.

The wings’ supply luggage got to build the level but their regions undertook.
Cheap flights bid on airline tickets.
This is now twisted for direct name voters.

If you enjoyed that, you might enjoy some of this robots other masterworks, including Super Cheap Tickets, and Price Air Line Tickets.

Data will be handled even with the aid of electronic calculators

This page has what must be the best privacy information ever:

Your data is necessary for the sole purpose of software activation, customer service and communications regarding SiSystem’s software. Data will be handled even with the aid of electronic calculators. Data will be stored in our facilities and communicated solely to competent parties involved with conducting the necessary services described above. In no case shall the information be communicated or diffused to third parties for commercial purposes.

Impressive! I’m glad to know that this technology company, selling what they say is state of the art OCR software, will be able to handle my credit card data “even with the aid of electronic calculators.” Uh, what? Well, at least the guys with the calculators say they’re competent. I’d hate for them to miscalculate something. If they did, my information could be diffused. Hey, what’s that smell? Is something on fire, or is it just someone’s information getting diffused to third parties again?

Highlights From Student Council Speeches

The truely wonderful thing about mary ward, my former high school, was that we got some truely inspired (IE strange) speeches when it came time for student elections. While none of them could top one years refference to “my enormous penis” made by one of the students (he was forced to print an apology in the school newspaper), we got some good ones. Here’s a sample from notes I made during one years speeches, no names used. This is humour, from people who have probably moved on to bigger and better things. Nobody should take it personally:

• “Okay. Listen, I’m going to make this short because I really have to pee.”: tip no. 1 in public speaking…washroom first!
• “But nobody shoves an elephant in a locker and bangs on the outside and leaves it there all morning!”: It’s a simple matter of physics. Also, making comparisons between the students you want to vote for you and elephants can’t be a good thing.
• “I want to get some more action!”: I wasn’t the only one who took that the wrong way, okay?
• One of the students, in the course of his speech, removed his shoe and began using it as a puppet. I still don’t quite understand why.
• “I want next year to last 10 years!”: are you sure you’re not the only one?

Worst Fanfiction Ever

I don’t care if this is real, or not. It’s funny. And some people’s writing *is* really that bad. I want a space TV, now.

attack of the lesbians?

Wow. I've gotten two spam comments on my livejournal this morning, all on the same entry (the one where I turn into George Bush for the evening, apparently). Thought I'd share:

hello
much interesting found for you on fastfinge.livejournal.com I got to you from a search engine through a site
link: http://lesbian-cam.premium10adult.info/lesbian-free-sex-cam.html lesbian free sex cam все while I ustal after today in life in a network
if that write on mail

Yeah, I'm sure you did, buddy. Deleted them both. Is this going to continue?

Vampires are Stupid

First off, a warning: to those of you who hate random links, skip this entry. I've linked words without reason, mostly because I can. Yes, this is really, really annoying to read. Yes, I hate everyone who does this. But I'm doing it anyway; I'm in a quirky mood.

Has it ever occured to anyone how stupid the whole idea of vampires really is? I got thinking about this while taking a walk in the fresh air, because that's just the sort of chearful subject to lift up ones heart on a lovely spring evening, and realized how utterly stupid the entire thing is. I mean, seriously: how stupid is an evil monster who can't stand up to…sunlight? According to some authors, sunlamps will also do the trick. I guess I can see that it's all symbolic, you know, evil hiding in the darkness and stuff, but that doesn't make it any less stupid. And when you combine it with all the other crap that gets pinned on vampires, it's really quite surprising they last for more than ten minutes! Things that can damage or destroy vampires include, but are not limited to:

• stakes
• crosses (crucifixes, whatever. Same thing. Accept, you know, crosses are more chearful, what with the no dead Jesus on the front, and all. But I guess if we're talking about killing (destroying, if you *must*) vampires, that isn't really much of a factor. Anyway, Don't nitpick!)
• holy water
• sunlight
• silver
• garlic
• fire

Any monster that I can fight, all while spending less money than it would cost to buy guns and with objects found around the home, is a pretty crappy monster, in my opinion.

But as if that all isn't enough, what about some of the other crap that comes with life as a vampire? You must drink blood. You can't enter the home of someone else unless they invite you. I mean, come on! What good is it if I have to invite the vampire into the house in the first place? I guess that's why they have the whole hypnotising thing going on; it at least gives them a fighting chance. But in everything I've read, vampire hypnotism depends on you looking into their eyes. I guess I'm okay, in that case. All they really get in the plus-side is super strength, immortality (well, assuming nobody stakes them), the previously mentioned hypnosis, the ability to create vampires to serve you who will eventually turn on you and destroy you anyway, sometimes the ability to turn into a bat and/or mist, and a sort of funky blood-drinking sexuality orgasmic pleasure tie in. I think we, as a society, should spend a lot more time worrying about wearwolves and zombies; wearwolves are much harder to kill, and can become fearse killing machines whenever they feel like it. Zombies can't really be destroyed, save cutting them up into small enough bits not to do any harm. If you're a vampire, I just feel sorry for you.

as if word association wasn't already enough of a waste of time

Now, you can play word association with the computer! Online, at two different websites, no less. website 1, is new in the field, and uses wordnet data to get itself started. It's fairly easy to win against. website 2 has been active much longer, and is absolutely impossible. It can come up with an association for every word I entered. By the way, that first website also has an irritating word maze style game that I can't win at.

How to be Annoying on IRC

I originally wrote this list for everything2, but it was rejected there. This will only be funny to those of you who spend time on IRC (internet relay chat). Unfortunately, it's almost entirely based on real experiences I have had while on IRC!

1. join #windows. Ask what type of glass is best to use for a skylight. Become upset when people don't help you. Threaten to report the channel to the network administrators and get everyone in it banned.
2. Install a now playing mIRC script. Play Unknown Artist – Unknown Album – Track 01. Discuss what an awesome song that is. Change to track 2 . Repeat until end of album. When people yell at you, act surprised that “You guys can't hear the music? Something must be wrong. Lemme try again…”. Start from the beginning of the album. When people say it doesn't work like that, tell them they have something wrong with their speakers because you can hear it fine. Make remarks about people who are too stupid to hook up speakers properly.
3. Say ” lol ” or ” rofl ” after every single message in the channel. Include joins, parts, notices, quits, and ctcps.
4. Set up a script to /msg everyone who joins the channel with a personal greeting. Say goodbye when they part. /msg them with the fact that you'll miss them when they set status to away.
5. Paste an appropriate article from wikipedia into the channel whenever anyone asks a question. When people yell, act offended and claim you were “only trying to be helpful”. If you get banned by a flood protection bot, msg an op and promise never to do it again. When you're unbanned, send your wikipedia articles as private messages instead.
6. Change your nick every few minutes, and pretend to be a completely different person. When people comment on this, act amazed at there l33t h@ck3r sk1llz and ask how they figured out you were the same person. part before changing your nick next time, then rejoin. When people try to tell you your computer has an address, become extremely alarmed. Tell everyone that they “better not come to my house or I am gunna whoop y'all asses.” Message the channel ops and demand that anyone who accessed your “address” be banned right away. Claim to have everyone's address and be “calling the cops on you hackers right now!”
7. Join a sex channel with a nickname like SuperHotSexGirly743 ( real IRC networks do, in fact, allow nicks this long). Set your ident to ~HarryThompson. Set your whois name to Harry Thompson, sr. Ask the race of everyone in the channel before talking to them. /ignore anyone who says they're a different race than you. Message an op and demand that all those dirty people of $OtherRace be forced to leave because you're an innocent young girl and shouldn't have to put up with that sort of thing. When people express doubt about this, accuse them of slander and threaten to call your lawyer and sue them for all they've got.
8. Join a Christian channel. Say that you're a member of Gays4Jesus. Ask if anyone is interested in worshipping God and getting some hot man-loving next Wednesday. Tell them about your apostles slash fanfiction.
9. Join #unix. Tell everyone that they misspelled the name of their channel. Laugh at them. Invite them all to #eunuchs.
10. Say you're just trying out this IRC thing, but it's stupid. Tell everyone in the channel how much better Yahoo Chat is, and that IRC is just for old people.

Swedish Bananas!

I was searching for something deep in the tubes of the intarnets this afternoon, and I ran across this file, that seems to be a Swedish (or dutch? Or maybe German?) translation of Bert and Ernie learning some important lesson or other about apples and bananas. Investigating further, I discovered that This entire directory seems to be entirely in tribute to…bananas. Yup, bananas. It's got mp3s, movies, images, even a text file! Some days, the web just makes you stop and go: “huh.” Note that I haven't looked at anything, just a few of the mp3s, so some of it could be virus filled, pornographic, or otherwise inappropriate. You have been warned; if you're easily offended, you probably shouldn't be viewing files called m.monkeylove_ani.gif from random websites, anyway.

year in review: second most amusing thing ever

You know, I was going to write something reflective about this last year. But this (explicit language, requires flash) says everything I could say, and much, much more. I've played it three times, and it's still funny.

classic!

I love the BBC; other than BBC world, they just seem to have this complete inability to get *anything* right:

Mark Lawson Talks to Terry Pratchett
Terry Pratchett talks to Mark Lawson about his life and work, from the early days as a teenage journalist to his rise to fame as one of the world's most popular sci-fi writers under the name Iain M Banks. [S]

Part of BBC FOUR's Science Fiction Britannia season.

Iain M Banks? Uh, no. Believe me, he's a completely different guy. So: it should be a big surprise for you English tomorrow…will you get Mark Lawson talking to Terry Pratchett? Or maybe Terry Pratchett talking to Iain M Banks? Or Iain M Banks talking to Mark Lawson? Maybe all parties involved will get so confused that you'll wind up with Mark Lawson talking to Mark Lawson! If you want to find out, it's on BBC4.

is this a piano?

Someone just came into team talk (voicechat app I hang out on). I have never seen them before, and based on the settings they had, I strongly suspect they have never used the program before. They said: “I now have a Piano.” *plays a guitar into the input* “Or at least I think it's a piano. It has strings, and I'm trying to learn to play it.” After laughing my a$$ off, I clarified that it was, in fact, a Guitar. Response: “Oh yeah. A piano doesn't have strings.” I tried to explain about piano strings, but I don't think the concept found an understanding home. The person thought about this, and, a moment later, said: “Well, anyway, it's not a particularly good one, or anything. It won't connect to my computer with USB.” I just didn't say _anything_. For your Information, it was not an electric guitar. It was an acoustic guitar, with steel strings. It had no need to connect to the computer, with USB or anything else! After several _minutes_ of reflection along the lines of “What good is an instrument that I can't connect to my computer with USB?” the person informed me that: “I'm off to go see if I can make this do anything. I wonder how you make it run a program?” He then left. Good grief. What is the world coming to? I thought I was the most unmusical person in the world. But…I guess not. By the way, Guys, I just found this tuba, but it didn't come with an adapter! Does anyone have an extra adapter so I can plug in my tuba? Maybe I'll buy one tomorrow when I go to get new strings for my xylophone.

RUTHLESSLY KILL PSYCHOPATHS BUSH, RUMSFELD, CHENEY, Robert Mueller, Keith Alexander, Mathew Hayden..

Yes, that's right! I have another present for you all from Mr. Mind Control, himself! Posting to Canadian usenet groups and enspiring an American revolution once more! Are you *ready* for the *truth*? I don't think you can *handle* *reality*!

FBI PUSSIES went and INTERROGATED a 14 yr old WHITE girl pulling her from her
classroom in california for posting a picture with title “KILL BUSH” on her
myspace website.

http://www.sacbee.com/111/story/38768.html

But here, I POSTED “POUR GAS and BURN ALL FBI, CIA and NSA PSYCHOPATHS
ALIVE” and these IMPOTENT US GOVT FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS cant do a thing to me.
ROFLMAO……….
Here I am UPPING THE ANTE again.
KILL the MASS MURDERERS, TERRORISTS, SADISTS, PERVERTS and PSYCHOPATHS
george bush, rumsfeld, paul wolfowitz, dick cheney, FBI director
Robert Mueller, NSA director Keith Alexander, CIA director Mathew Hayden
and National Intelligence director John Negroponte.
For the record, I am NOT a muslim and have a clean record.
I am well educated with a masters degree and 10+ years of work experience in
fortune 100 companies but these UNDERCOVER FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS will LIE,
ATTACK and DISCREDIT me on usenet by accusing me of being a muslim to DECEIVE,
MISDIRECT and MANIPULATE the EVIL US GOVT FEARING 300 mil PROGRAMMED
GULLIBLE AMERICAN SLAVES and I sincerely hope my fellow hard working
innocent americans see through the DEVIOUS DECEPTIONS and MANIPULATIONS
of these EVIL FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS and PATHOLOGICAL LIARS.
I URGE all the readers on usenet to send this link and my usenet post to
ALL US GOVT LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES including the FBI and NSA and get
me ARRESTED and INTERROGATED.
That is exactly what I want and then I can go on TV and EXPOSE the EVIL,
SADISTIC, PERVERTED, CRIMINAL FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS to the EVIL
US GOVT FEARING 300 mil GULLIBLE PROGRAMMED AMERICAN SLAVES and ZOMBIES,
MEDIA and JUDGES.
I am WAITING with bated breath for IMPOTENT FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS to
come and ARREST ME and INTERROGATE ME. Hey, you dont even
need to come to my home, just give me a call and I will go to local FBI
office myself and EXPOSE YOUR EVIL, SADISTIC, PERVERTED, BLOOD THIRSTY,
PYSCHOPATHIC MIND CONTROL EXPERIMENTS being done on HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS
of INNOCENT AMERICAN CITIZENS like ME.
And hopefully the 300 mil programmed american slaves will wake up FINALLY
to the ATROCITIES committed by these EVIL US GOVT FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHIC
BASTARDS and take up ARMS against these EVIL PYSCHOPATHS and start a REAL
REVOLUTION and make America into a nation with REAL LIBERTIES and FREEDOM as
envisioned by Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the FOUNDING FATHERS of
our great nation.
The amount of SADISM, PERVERSION and BLOOD LUST that exists in FBI and NSA
PSYCHOPATHS is BEYOND any human being's comprehension. FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS
ENJOY creating PAIN 24X7 to INNOCENT AMERICANS and these EVIL PSYCHOPATHS
ENJOY EACH and EVERY SECOND of our SUFFERING. PSYCHOPATHS must be
RUTHLESSLY KILLED and that includes FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS. America will
become a REAL UTOPIA when ALL AMERICANS develop the GUTS and SPINE to think
and act that they have the RIGHT TO KILL FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS
who TORTURE INNOCENT AMERICAN CITIZENS endlessly with ILLEGAL and NON-CONSENSUAL
SYNTHETIC TELEPATHY experiments and PSYCHO-ELECTRONIC WEAPON ATTACKS.
FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS are conspiring to MURDER or DISABLE me with
bio-terrorism, remotely controlled accidents, burning down my home,
exploding my car while I was driving, murder me point blank and make
it look like random shooting, stab and kill me and make it like a suicide etc.
I have a moon to sell to all the dumb americans who think our nation
america is a free society with civil liberties and respect for human rights.
FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS consider 300 mil americans as animals that can
be HUMILIATED, HARASSED, RAPED, TORTURED and KILLED AT WILL,
no questions asked, no inquires and no investigations.
If 300 mil AMERICANS kn0w how FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS are SECRETLY and
ILLEGALLY POISONING, TORTURING and MURDERING them, they will immediately
buy AK-47s enmasse and HUNT and KILL EVERY FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATH.
I am the only american of the hundreds of thousands of innocent americans who are
being SECRETLY TORTURED and being used as GUINEA PIGS that has any proof of these
tortures, synthetic telepathy mind control experiments and psycho-electronic
weapon attacks which is why these FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS are FEARING to ARREST ME.
These FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS knew I alone have the ability to bring about a
REVOLUTION among the 300 mil stupefied americans if they arrest me and I go
public in the media and EXPOSE these EVIL SECRET SOCIETY SADISTIC PSYCHOPATHS.

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.activism/msg/fe7c583b68f9bb88?hl=en&

The following link is extremely important and every reader should print and keep this
in their homes so they wont forget the EVIL FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHIC SPIES in
America. Read it and learn to protect yourselves.

http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/pro-freedom.co.uk/cov_us.html

The following links explain secret MKULTRA and COINTELPRO programs of FBI,
CIA and NSA agencies on hundreds of thousands of innocent american citizens.

http://thirdworldtraveler.com/FBI/FBI_watch.html

http://thirdworldtraveler.com/NSA/NSA_page.html

http://thirdworldtraveler.com/CIA/CIA_ThirdWorld.html

Give exactly the SAME WEAPON to any FBI, CIA and NSA PSYCHOPATH and a
NON-AMERICAN to FIGHT and these US GOVT IMPOTENT PSYCHOPATHS will DROP their
WEAPONS and RUN like HELL crying Mommy, Mommy, Mommy HELP ME.
The WORST PART is 300 mil AMERICAN PROGRAMMED SLAVES “WORSHIP” these
IMPOTENT FBI, CIA and NSA PUSSIES as BRAVE WARRIORS.
MYTH:
America is a LAND of the FREE and HOME of the BRAVE
FACT:
America is a LAND of GOVT PROGRAMMED SLAVES and HOME of GOVT FEARING PUSSIES
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his
government.”
Edward Abbey

http://thirdworldtraveler.com/Authors/QuotationsToMakeUSThink.html

Signature:
Pax anti- evil US GOVT FASCISM, SADISM, PERVERSION, TERRORISM and
PYSCHOPATHIC BEHAVIOR is a philosophy.
Making sure EVIL, PSYCHOPATHIC, BLOOD THIRSTY american govt does not
turn me into a SLAVE like majority of the americans, is liberty building.
Think of it as somebody beating the shit out of EVIL AMERICAN GOVT
CRIMINALS, MURDERERS, PEDOPHILES, PSYCHOPATHS and TERRORISTS for being
FASCIST, BLOOD THIRSTY and GENOCIDAL.
If the SAME RULES, LAWS and STANDARDS which THESE EVIL AMERICAN GOVT FBI,
CIA, NSA and DoD SADISTS, PERVERTS, CRIMINALS, PEDOPHILES, MURDERERS and
PSYCHOPATHS apply to the rest of the human beings are applied to themselves
then EACH and EVERY FBI, CIA and NSA agent will get DEATH PENALTY or ROT IN
PRISON for the REST OF THEIR LIVES.

– Posted via a free Usenet account from

http://www.teranews.com

Australia Gets Drunk, Wakes Up in North Atlantic

Not sure who wrote this, but It's amusing. Taken from usenet.

Mummy Az ''Tired of Being Isolated and Ignored, Continent Isn't Bloody Moving''!!

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia? After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic.

“Good Lord, that was a booze up,” said a bleary-eyed Australian Prime Minister, John Howard, speaking from his residence at Kirribilli House, approximately 600 nautical miles east of Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.
According to Australians and residents of several countries destroyed or lewdly insulted during the continent's nearly 7,000-
mile saltwater stagger, the binge began just after noon yesterday at a pub in Brisbane, where several patrons were discussing Australia Day and the nation's general lack of respect from abroad.
“It started off same as always; coupla fossils saying how our Banjo Patterson was a better poet than Walt Whitman, how Con the Fruiterer is funnier than Seinfeld, only they're Aussies so no one knows about 'em,” recalled witness Kevin Porter. “Then this bloke Martin pipes up and says Australia's main problem is that it's stuck in Australia, and everybody says 'Too right!'”
“Well, it made sense at the time,” Porter added.
By 2 a.m., powered by national pride and alcohol, the 3-million-
square-mile land mass was barging eastward through the Coral Sea and crossing into the central Pacific, leaving a trail of beer cans and Chinese take-away in its wake.
When dawn broke over the Northern Hemisphere, the continent suddenly found itself, not only upside down, but smack in the middle of the Atlantic, and according to most of its 19 million inhabitants, that's the way it's going to stay.
“We sent troops to Afghanistan. You never hear about it. We have huge government scandals. You never hear about it. It's all 'America did this,' and 'Europe says that,'” exclaimed Perth resident Paul Watson. “Well, we're right in the thick of things now, so let's just see if you can you ignore us.”
Officials on both sides of the Atlantic conceded that would be difficult. “They broke Florida,” said U.S. State Department spokesman Richard Boucher. “And most of Latin America is missing.”
Meanwhile, victims of what's already been dubbed the “Australian Crawl” are still shaking off the event.
“Australia bumped into us at about midnight local time,” said Hawaii governor Ben Cayetano. “They were very friendly, they always seem friendly, but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible. 'Who is Ian Thorpe? Do you have any Tim Tams? What day is Australia Day?'”
“Fortunately, somebody here had an Unimportant World Dates calendar and we aced the last one,” Cayetano added.
Panama, however, was not so lucky.
“Australia came through here screaming curses at us to let them through,” said Ernesto Carnal, who guards the locks at the entrance to the Panama Canal. “We said they would not fit, so they demanded to speak with a manager. When I go to find Mr. Caballos, they sneak the whole continent through.”
When Caballos shouted to the fleeing country that it had not paid, Australia “accidentally” backed up and took out every nation in the region, as well as the northern third of Venezuela. They then made up a cheery song about it.
By late morning today, however, not everyone in Australia was quite so blithe. “We've still got part of Jamaica stuck to Queensland,” said Australian army commander Lt. Gen. Peter Cosgrove. “I think we might have declared war on it. I don't bloody remember. Maybe it's time to go home.”
Cosgrove, however, is not in the majority, and at press time, U.S., African, and European leaders were still desperately trying to negotiate for Australia's withdrawal. But the independent-minded Aussies were not making it easy. In a two-hour meeting at midday, Australian representatives listed their demands: immediate inclusion in the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, a permanent CNN presence in all 6 Australian states, a worldwide ban on hiring Paul Hogan, a primetime U.S. television contract for Australian Rules Football, and a 4,500-mile-long bridge between Sydney and Los Angeles.
U.S. negotiators immediately walked out, calling the Australian Rules Football request “absurd.”

We Met The Space People

More crazy people; how could I resist? This time from 1959! link to free Ebook called We Met the Space People. BoingBoing is obviously using secret A-List government blogger mind reading technology to rebroadcast my mind wave vibrations with electromagnetic communication media like internets!

SYNTHETIC TELEPATHY and PSYCHO-ELECTRONIC WEAPON ATTACKS by 100,000 FBI and NSA SECRET SPIES

Just ran across this interesting bit of crazyness this morning; thought I'd share:

SYNTHETIC TELEPATHY and PSYCHO-ELECTRONIC WEAPON ATTACKS on INNOCENT
US CITIZENS by a combined 100,000 FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHIC SECRET
SOCIETY SPIES in AMERICA.
FBI and NSA PSYCHOPATHS are conducting these NON-CONSENSUAL SECRET,
ILLEGAL, SADISTIC, PERVERTED and PSYCHOPATHIC SYNTHETIC TELEPATHY
EXPERIMENTS and PSYCHO-ELECTRONIC WEAPON ATTACKS on hundreds of
thousands of innocent american citizens.

The Pentagon and the U.S. intelligence agencies called the N.S.A. [ National
Security Agency ], C.S.S. [ Central Security Service ], D.I.A. [ Defence
Intelligence Agency ], D.A.R.P.A. [ Defense Advanced Reserch Projects
Agency ], C.I.A. [ Central Intelligence Agency ], the D.H.S. [ Department of
Homeland Security ], and the F.B.I. [ Federal Bureau of Investigation ]
Cointelpro or Counter intelligence program unit has extremely top secret
technology that can pick up the private thoughts given by individuals in the
vibrations produced by the brains electrical impulses, and that these
thoughts can be broadcast by means of microwave tranceivers, infrasound and
ultrasound tranceivers, satellites, and any other form of technology which
uses electromagnetic transfer, i.e. television, radio, the internet, and the
telephone. The pentagon calls this mind reading technology SYNTHETIC
TELEPATHY, although there is nothing paranormal about it at all. The N.S.A.
or National Security Agency is a part of the U.S. Department of Defense, and
a very secretive part at that. The N.S.A. has a black budget, and is always
headed by a flag officer from one of the branches of the U.S. military. The
top secret technologies available to the U.S. military is usually thirty
years or maybe even more ahead of the technology which is available to the
U.S. civilian economy. Who is to know among the general U.S. public what the
level of technological development is within the secret laboratories of the
N.S.A. and D.A.R.P.A. [ Defense Advanced Reserch Projects Agency ]. The
headquarters of the National Security Agency is located at Fort George Meade
in the U.S. state of Maryland.
Today, there are microscopic computer chips based on nanotechnology which
can be inserted into a person by means of an injection, capsule, or tooth
filling, with or without the knowledge of a doctor or a pharmacist, and
these computer chips can track the implanted person by radio or microwaves.
These microscopic computer chips can also be made invisible to detection by
means of C.A.T. [ Computerized Axial Tomography ], M.R.I. [ Magnetic
Resonance Imaging ], and P.E.T. [ Positron Emission Tomography ] scans,
by some means of electromagnetic degaussing.
With the latest top secret, and rapid technological advancements available
to the U.S. military intelligence agencies, the need for microscopic
computer implants in conducting synthetic telepathy against targeted
persons is obsolete by now. Rather, a system of subliminal, subconscious,
wireless microwave remote control is used today against targeted
individuals suffering from synthetic telepathy harrassment. Synthetic
Telepathy is used for conducting torture training and/or experimentation
against people as red herring “good cop/bad cop” or tough love acting,
diversions, feints, decoys, and smokescreens, as smear campaigns by
association, as openly secret intimidation campaigns against targeted
dissidents, and as a means of espionage. Once it was believed
that claims about C.I.A. agents secretly dumping radioactive
material in the slums of U.S. cities during the 1950's as part
of a research program were simply mass conspiracy theories, until the U.S.
federal government in the 1990's publicly admitted that the allegation was
true.
FBI and NSA agents who are part of a secret US society are genetically
inclined sociopaths and psychopaths who work as hit men, torturers,
sexual abusers, stalkers, slanderers, and agent provocateurs involved
in murders and torture of hundreds of thousands of innocent US citizens
for years and years. At the last count there are 50,000 NSA spies who
are businessmen, priests, community leaders and in all walks of life
who are SPYING and keeping tabs on pretty much all americans.
The synthetic telepathy espionage trainees, sociopaths, sadomasochistic
torturers, slanderers, experimenters, and spies, in order to avoid
developing any sympathy for their targeted victims, deliberately avoid
actually feeling the emotions of their victims by following the squiggly EEG
or Electroencephalograph lines on computer monitor screens, as well as the
silent words thought by their victims which also appear on the computer
monitor screens. Then again, who can feel all of the emotions and thoughts
which any given person has undergone every second of their entire lifetime.
The emotions and silent words of the victims of synthetic telepathy
operators can be broadcast against their will to anyone the synthetic
telepathy torturers choose to broadcast to, and they also have the power to
block or censor any emotions and words of their victims which they do not
want to be broadcast. The synthetic telepathy spies can also place their own
criminal or antisocial, negative emotions and words into their victims by
means of subliminal, subconscious, remote control microwave brainwashing
technology, and they can change the voice behind their words so as to make
it appear that it is the targeted victim and not themselves who are
communicating by means of synthetic telepathy. They can also store emotions
and silently thought words onto a supercomputer memory bank which they can
rebroadcast at a later time. I believe that the synthetic telepathy
operators, although having high I.Q.'s, are predisposed towards
sociopathic behaviour because of a genetic defect or combination of genetic
defects, and that the only way they can sustain enthusiasm in their lives is
by engaging in an addictive pattern of sadomasochistic activities and
fantasies.
If you do not believe that synthetic telepathy exists, then you should look
at these following web sites which reveal that part of electromagnetic
psychological warfare and mind control which today is declassified:
I urge the readers to print/save this column as well as the following link
where the NSA and their PSYCHO-ELECTRONIC WEAPON ATTACKS and SADISTIC
TORTURE of hundreds of thousands of innocent american citizens
(guinea pigs and victims) is explained in detail with diagrams and technology.
“Covert Operations of the U.S. National Security Agency” at

http://www.mindcintrolforums.com/pro-freedom.co.uk/cov_us.html

Mind control means influencing the behaviour of an
individual. And to creating or remolding victims personality towards desired
state. The desired model human for the elite of the world, or, “the
Illuminati” is: Easily steerable mass-human without personal
characteristics. A stupefied, dumbed down person. This secures the interests
of the elite of the world. So they can lead our lives through changing times
the way they want.
Apparently growing out of earlier government mind control research programs
such as MKULTRA, and government suppression-of-dissent programs such as
COINTELPRO, today's mind control is covert, finely crafted, around the clock
harassment perpetrated against citizens living in their homes and
communities.
It is to be noted, that MK-ULTRA and other government programs worked as a
front for the “alien” mind control techniques, which are superior. The
intradimensional way of mind control using the “alien” technologies ensures,
that the result is always the desired one. And undesired for all free-loving
people.
Destruction of family and other relationships by way of lies, bribes, and
threats is a goal of the phase of today's mind control. The current day mind
control program has been carefully engineered so that if the target
complains, their own words will instantly cause them to be labeled as
mentally ill.
The mind/body symptoms of current day mind control include: Excruciating
PAIN(!) Exceptionally frequent blanking of recent memories, and truncation
of new ideas
- Very unnatural inability to sleep, as if large amounts of caffeine have
been consumed.
- Sudden forced awakening at precisely the same time in the middle of the
night, continuing for at least months, and right on a clock time such as 4
am, zero minutes, zero seconds
- Sudden clumsiness, which can result in spills, spoilage of precise work,
or injury – Attacks of extreme fatigue, sometimes almost to the point of
paralysis, when there is no reason for such attacks
- Frequent powerful itching without rash, and which may start as a small
electric shock
- Artificial “bee stings”, especially while trying to get to sleep
- Wildly racing heart without any cause
- Sudden overheating, without any cause
- Frequent flailing of arms and legs as you try to sleep
- Fake sounds such as alarm clock going off when it shouldn't, telephone
ringing when there is no incoming call, knocking on the door but no one is
there
- Voices, either very insulting, or telling you things that indicate you are
under surveillance
- Vibration of body parts when trying to sleep
- High pitched tone in ears, which may change when switching electronic
equipment on or off In some cases, statements by strangers indicating they
know what you had for supper In some cases, statements by strangers
indicating they can read your thoughts
- Artificial and powerful sexual stimulation
- Artificial and powerful PREVENTION of sexual stimulation .
This is THE EXTERIOR of mind control. The non-noticeable mind control is
more dangerous one. That is the manipulation of our thoughts and emotions
WITHOUT our notice of things.
We think we lead our lives. But we do not. We have to wake up to take notice
on the situation. And try to change the course of history.
FBI and NSA SECRET SOCIETY imposes us the New world order using mind control.
And we can`t shield ourselves from it. Which makes us as puppets on strings.
“Electromagnetic Weapons and Mind Control”: from CNN's Special Assignment,
about 1985, at

http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/cnn-mc.htm

, by Chuck De
Caro, CNN Special Assignments,
and “List of mind control symptoms, in “2005 update:
The convergence of the cold war history of mind control and
electromagnetic weapons with new
post cold war government neuroscience reserch programs,” by Cheryl Welsh,
Director, Mind Justice, 2005, at

http://www.mindjustice.org/2005update.htm

and

http://www.mindjustice.org/symptoms.htm

Also, there is an interesting article called “Brain wave technology could
change lives: Imagine controlling a computer using only your thoughts.” This
technology already exists in the civilian economy as a means of playing
video games, for example. See this link:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6661974/

. The article was written by Robert
Bazell, correspondent for NBC News, and was updated at 7:31p.m., December 6,
2004. Another web site concerned with gaining information on the electrical
activity of brainwaves, and by means of wireless technology, can be found in
the Sunday, 17 November, 2002, 00:41 GMT BBC NEWS World Edition article
called “Remote control brain sensor”, at

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/2361987.stm

MANCHURIAN CANDIDATES
“4 Elite Airborne commandos Return from a Special Operation in
Afghanistan and suddenly torture and murder their wives”
Friday, July 26, 2002 1:33 p.m. EDT FORT BRAGG, N.C. (Reuters) -
Four U.S. soldiers stationed at Fort Bragg, including three special
operations servicemen who returned home this year after tours of
duty in Afghanistan, allegedly killed their wives recently, military
officials said on Friday. In two of the cases, the soldiers killed
themselves after shooting their spouses, officials said. In the
other two, the servicemen have been arrested and are facing charges.
“There has been a recent series of instances where soldiers have
either committed murder or murder-suicide against their wives,” said
Maj. Gary Kolb, a spokesman for the Army Special Operations Command.

http://www.projectfreedom.cng1.com/esp.html

STARGATE is one of the many names given to the Army's classified
clan of remote viewers. This project was hidden deeply within the
government for close to two decades. The work of Harold Puthoff Ph.D.,
at SRI international

http://www.sri.com/index/html

joined with the
work of others at the Cognitive Science Laboratory
(

http://www.lfr.org/csl

) helped to supply the CIA with the framework
of what was then known as Project GRILLFRAME. By 1978 America's
first remote viewers were at work. It is rumored the cold war was
responsible for the government's interest in remote viewing
because Russia had spies not dissimilar to our remote viewers.
Psychic Dictatorship in the U.S.A.
Alex Constantine
(1995) Another bombshell from the fecund furnace of Feral House Press.
Constantine, a political researcher in the mold of Mae Brussell, has
gathered together a well-documented survey. “Bombing minds rather than
bodies is the warfare of the new millennium… Funded under the
euphemism of Non-Lethal Technology, the Pentagon has developed the
ability to transmit voices, and inflict pain, madness, even death,
with the push of a button. Hard to believe? Believe it! Official
sources have publicly admitted to the existence of such technology.”
Topics covered: Telemetric mind control, hearing voices, false memory
hoax, E. Howard Hunt's Death Squads, The GOP's Pink Triangle & the
CIA, Johnny Carson and the SL crisis, and let's not forget the
chapter on NutraSweet as crowd control.
221 pages, PB
PDU
$12.95
The term “mind control” comes from former CIA director Allen Dulles.
In 1953, Dulles, speaking before a national meeting of Princeton
alumni, distinguished two fronts in the then-current “battle for men's
minds”: a “first front” of mass indoctrination through censorship and
propaganda, and a “second front” of individual “brainwashing” and
“brain changing.” Before an audience of fellow Ivy Leaguers, Dulles
skipped the usual pieties about democracy. The same year, Dulles
approved the CIA's notorious MKULTRA project, and exempted it from
normal CIA financial controls.
A partial list of aggressive promoters of this new technology includes
Oak Ridge National Lab, Sandia National Laboratories, Science
Applications International Corporation, MITRE Corporation, Lawrence
Livermore National Lab, and Los Alamos National Laboratory.
In 1996, the US Air Force Scientific Advisory Board published a
14-volume study of future developments in weapons called New World
Vistas. Tucked away on page 89 of an ancillary 15th volume are some
hair-raising insights into the future 'coupling' of man
and machine in a section dealing with 'Biological Process
Control'. The author refers to an 'explosion' of
knowledge in the field of neuroscience, adding, ominously:
One can envision the development of electromagnetic energy sources,
the output of which can be pulsed, shaped, and focused, that can
couple with the human body in a fashion that will allow one to prevent
voluntary muscular movements, control emotions (and thus actions),
produce sleep, transmit suggestions, interfere with both short-term
and long-term memory, produce an experience set, and delete an
experience set.
Translating the words 'experience set' from military
jargon into plain English, this means, simply, that they envisage the
ability to erase your life's memories and substitute a new,
fictitious set.
By projecting such developments into the future, the authors of New
Vistas are camouflaging present day capabilities. A similar futuristic
scenario with many references to mind manipulation is described in The
Revolution in Military Affairs and Conflict Short of War (US Army War
College, 1994). Authors Steven Metz and James Kievit declare:
“Behaviour modification is a key component of peace
enforcement” and “The advantage of [using] directed energy
systems is deniability.” The authors ask: “Against whom is
such deniability aimed?” The direct answer is “the
American people”.
Edward Tilton, President of Silent Sounds Inc., says this about S-quad
in a letter dated 13 December, 1996:
All schematics, however, have been classified by the US Government and
we are not allowed to reveal the exact details. we make tapes
and CDs for the German Government, even the former Soviet Union
countries! All with the permission of the US State Department, of
course. The system was used throughout Operation Desert Storm
(Iraq) quite successfully.
By using these computer-enhanced EEGs, scientists can identify and
isolate the brain's low-amplitude “emotion signature
clusters”, synthesise them and store them on another computer.
In other words, by studying the subtle characteristic brainwave
patterns that occur when a subject experiences a particular emotion,
scientists have been able to identify the concomitant brainwave
pattern and can now duplicate it. “These clusters are then
placed on the Silent Sound carrier frequencies and will silently
trigger the occurrence of the same basic emotion in another human
being!”
Microwaves can also alter the permeability of the body's
blood-brain barrier,14 which can synergistically increase the effects
of drugs, as the military is well aware. “Using relatively
low-level RFR, it may be possible to sensitise large military groups
to extremely dispersed amounts of biological or chemical agents to
which the unirradiated population would be immune.”15
Sound can be transmitted even easier through the use of implants -
cochlear implants, implants that send electrical signals into the
fluid of the inner ear, or implants that transmit sound vibrations via
bone conduction, such as the cases of dental fillings picking up
audible radio signals.
The stimoceiver, invented by Dr. Jose Delgado, consists of wires
running from strategic points in the brain to a radio
receiver/transmitter located entirely under the skin. Through this
device, Delgado was able to stimulate raw emotions such as arousal,
anxiety, and aggression with the turn of a knob.
Of course, secret research by the US Government into microwaves and
synthetic telepathy has moved on considerably since the end of the
Cold War … secret microwave radiation can be used to induce in
unsuspecting victims: “Headache, fatigue, perspiring, dizziness,
menstrual disorders, irritability, agitation, tension, drowsiness,
sleeplessness, depression, anxiety, forgetfulness, and the lack of
concentration.”
Naval Research Lab Attempts To Meld Neurons And Chips: Studies May
Produce Army of 'Zombies.'
Future battles could be waged with genetically engineered organisms,
such as rodents, whose minds are controlled by computer chips
engineered with living brain cells…. The research, called
Hippo-campal Neuron Patterning, grows live neurons on computer chips.
“This technology that alters neurons could potentially be used
on people to create zombie armies,” Lawrence Korb, a senior
fellow at the Brookings Institution, said.
See also “National Security Agency” in

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Security_Agency

,
“Central Security Service” in

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Security_Service

,
“ECHELON” in

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ECHELON

,
“Defense Intelligence Agency” in

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_Intelligence_Agency

,
and “Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency” in

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_Advanced_Research_Projects_Agency

The following links explain secret MKULTRA and COINTELPRO programs of FBI,
CIA and NSA agencies.

http://thirdworldtraveler.com/FBI/FBI_watch.html

http://thirdworldtraveler.com/NSA/NSA_page.html

http://thirdworldtraveler.com/CIA/CIA_ThirdWorld.html

the music industry has gone insane

I was listening to my vast music collection today at random in the background (as per usual), and came across a track by someone called Emma Roberts, off of an album called Unfabulous. I didn't check the title, and It started off as the usual sort of sappy “why don't you love me?” style love song. Then, all of the sudden, the following lyrics came out of her:

Sometimes I wish that I was a wrestler, a Mexican wrestler
In a red vinyl mask. And I might grab you and body slam you
And maybe cause physical harm.
When we would land, I might take pity on you;
I could crack all your ribs, but I cant break your heart.

…Huh? Is this supposed to be a serious song? If so, those are really, really unfortunate images. I looked at the rest of the album after that, and it doesn't look at all ironic to me, not even in the obscure style of Daphne and Celeste. Wah? Has the teenpop scene finally entirely lost its collective mind?

worst. titles. ever.

I mostly ignore gaming stuff, but this article that lists the 50 worst named games ever is one of the funniest things I've read in a while. (linkgrab from boingboing)