I created the following list by typing “Samuel needs” into google, with quotes, and copying from the first 10 results. Idea stolen from a facebook friend. What do _you_ need?
- Samuel needs to be watched at all times while you are home. (What am I, two years old again?)
- Samuel needs a wife!!! (So she can watch me at all times while she is home, I guess.)
- Samuel needs an assistant to count up to 20. (Because, apparently, my wife can’t handle that.)
- Samuel needs to feed his family. (What? Why does nobody tell me these things ahead of time?)
- Baby Samuel needs help. (Wow, Google sure is making me feel good about myself.)
- Samuel needs to support UCF. (Who? What? Why?)
- Samuel needs lots of tender loving care. (And maybe if UCF had given me the tender loving care I needed, found me a wife, helped me when I was a baby, watched me at all times while they were home, fed my family, and given me an assistant to count to 20, I’d be supporting them today!)
- Samuel needs to get off his high horse and jump on the bandwagon. (No! I refuse to jump on the UCF bandwagon. I’ve decided this is all UCF’s fault, whoever or whatever they are, and I hate them.)
- Samuel needs a family who is very involved in the lives of their children and will be extremely supportive. (Don’t I already have a family to feed? Why do I need another one? UCF wouldn’t even feed my first family.)
- Samuel needs to be Nick. (You know what? Based on how needy I turned out to be, I think I agree. I wonder what Nick needs?)